irish medical dictionary

I just got sent this via email, and felt the need to share. Some delightful definitions from the Irish Medical Dictionary.

Artery……………………. The study of paintings.
Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria.
Barium…………………….. What doctors do when patients die.
Benign…………………… What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section……..A neighbourhood in Rome ..
Catscan……………………. Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize………………….. Made eye contact with her.
Colic……………………… A sheep dog.
Coma……………………… A punctuation mark.
Dilate……………………. To live long.
Enema……………………… Not a friend.
Fester…………………….. Quicker than someone else.
Fibula……………………. A small lie.
Impotent………………….. Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain…………………Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff………………… A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid……………………… A higher offer.
Nitrates………………….. Cheaper than day rates.
Node……………………… I knew it.
Outpatient………………… A person who has fainted.
Pelvis……………………. Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative…………….. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room…………….Place to do upholstery.
Rectum……………………. Nearly killed him.
Secretion…………………. Hiding something.
Seizure…………………… Roman emperor.
Tablet……………………… A small table.
Terminal Illness…………… Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour……………………..One plus one more.
Urine…………………….. Opposite of you’re out.

Hope that lightened your day.

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About Cameron
I'm a final year Computer Science/Information Systems major. Already finished my BA in Politics/Philosophy. I do web and software freelance on the side, while I finish studying. Hoping to be self-employed by the end of my degree, otherwise off into the real-world I go....

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